Friday, August 22, 2008

UN AMOR VIRGEN: A virgin love~

A VIRGIN LOVE~ Para la chiquitica...

UN AMOR VIRGEN: A virgin love~

When love begins… its beautiful

When love begins… its light

When love begins… it's a fairytale

When love begins… past loves no longer exists

There's failed love

There's fake love

Even unsure love

There's closed love

There's distrustful love


Is this really loving?

Is this really LOVE?


Then there's virgin love…

a virgin love…

this love is…

Pure love

Innocent love

Unquestioning love

Trusting love

True love

Real love

Full of passion kind of love

Not caught up in the bullshit love

Lasting love

It's you and me love…

Untainted love

Loving freely

Without conditions

I feel you inside me in a way I have never felt anyone

You the mirror image of me LOVE~


I am soooooo not a poet… its not my thing… but what inspired the words I wrote above… is a conversation I had con mi amiga… about losing ones virginity… so I thought about the ways I have given, shared and received love and found myself comparing it to giving up your virginity…

That moment – ESE MOMENTO~

That one gives themselves over – QUE UNO SE ENTREGA~

To that special person – HA ESA PERSONA~

That moment we give ourselves completely OVER to love… to loving someone… no questions asked… and without questioning… ESE MOMENTO QUE NOS ENTREGAMOS COMPLETAMENTE AL AMOR… QUE AMAMOS HA ALGUIEN…SIN PREGUNTAR… Y SIN PREGUNTARNOS…

That moment is much like that moment we give our bodies to that first time… we trust the person… we chose them… we surrender completely… its pure… its innocent… we're scared… its SACRED… we have a moment of doubt… but we give it up… ESE MOMENTO ES IGUAL COMO ENTREGAR NUESTROS CUERPOS POR PRIMERA VEZ… QUE CONFIAMO EN ESA PERSONA COMPLETAMENTE… PERO ESCOJIMOS ESA PERSONA… Y NOS ENTREGAMOS… ES PURO… INOCENTE… SENTIMOS MIEDO… ESE MOMENTO ES ALGO SAGRADO… HAY MOMENTOS DE DUDA… PERO NOS ENTREGAMOS…


What was giving up my virginity like for me?


I guess then I believed I was INLOVE and that THAT PERSON WAS THE ONE… that person and me 4eva. My first time was not enjoyable in fact it was quite terrible… its NOT just that that person wasn't worthy of having me… its that HE didn't value me… he didn't see me as pure… he saw me as a piece of ass. He saw me as a conquest.. HE DIDN'T REALLY SEE ME…

QUE YO SENTIA CUANDO PERDI MI VIRGINIDAD POR PRIMERA VEZ… BUENO YO PENSE QUE YO ESTABA ENAMORADA… QUE ESA PERSONA ERA EL UNICO PARA MI… QUE ERA POR SIEMPRE… ESA PRIMERA VEZ FUE TERRIBLE… NO SOLAMENTE PORQUE EL NO ME MERECIA… FUE QUE NO ME VALORO… NO VIO LO PURO QUE ERA MI AMOR… HE SAW ME LIKE A PIECE OF ASS… NO SE COMO SE DICE EN DOMINICAN… J ME VIO COMO UNA CONQUISTA… Y NUNCA ME VIO – LA PERSONA QUE YO SOY…

On the flip… I saw the act of giving it up as a way I would show him that I LOVED him… so in that moment I not only gave it up… I gave him that pure LOVE that I possessed… that innocent love. I think for the most part we hold on to love much like a virgin holds onto her virginity… waiting for the perfect person to give it ALL to… Y POR EL OTRO LADO… YO LO VI COMO LA MANERA MEJOR DE ESPRESSAR QUE YO LO AMABA… SO EN ESE MOMENTO YO NO SOLAMENTE LE DI MI VIRGINIDAD… YO LE DI ESE AMOR PURO QUE YO POSEO… ESE AMOR INOCENTE… YO CREO QUE POR UN LADO NOSOTROS AGUANTAMOS EL AMOR… NO NOS GUSTA ENTREGARSELO TAN LIBREMENTE COMO LOS VIRGINES NO LE DAN SU VIRGINIDAD A CUALQUIER PERSONA… ESPERANDO QUE LLEGE LA PERSONA PERFECTA PARA ENTREGARSE EN COMPLETO…

Y cuando llegue ese momento… me voy entregar en completo, sin tabues, sin verguenzas, sin preguntas, SIMPLEMENTE SENTIR, SENTIR Y SEGUIR SINTIENDO, ENTREGARME SOLO ENTREGARME…

I can't wait to lose my virginity... mas y mas..

Peace~

Friday, August 15, 2008

Vida Afro Latina.com Article

Here’s a story recently published on our project:

http://vidaafrolatina.com/A_Colombian-Dominican_Co.html

Peace~

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Breaking Up Is HARD to do~ ES DURO~

Today I am feeling some pretty incredible VIBES… I am receiving an incredible flow of love, strength and good wishes. My body feels strong… my heart is full… I feel ready… blessed… HAPPY… CRAZY HAPPY… READY to continue getting ready. I am on an amazing journey right now and want to experience every GOOD thing that comes my way.

I am more patient TODAY than I have been lately~

On this journey…I have met so many wonderful people… I have heard stories, shared food, seen views that are heaven like~ so surreal~

It wasn't easy:

Calling it quits was not easy…
It's never easy to do…
But in honoring me – I honor you~
If you think I'm gonna blog about us~ I WON'T
If you think I blame YOU~ I DON'T
What we had was OURS
What I gave~ is YOURS
What I received~ I WILL CHERISH
I'm grateful
Thankful
You arrived~

TODAY IS A NEW DAY~

I am grateful I can still be LIGHT after a break up~

What tends to happen during a break up - - or what has happened to me in the past is that I allow my self to FALL APART… I become paralyzed. I lose focus, my footing, I lose track of ALL THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME - - I allow the sadness to consume me.


But not this time~ TODAY I AM A BUTTERFLY~


This time yes there were tears… yes there was sadness… yes there is something missing… that something special – that SOMEONE SPECIAL… HER VOICE~ HER EYES~

That someone you wake up thinking about – AND THEY ARE THE FIRST PERSON THAT COMES TO MIND – THE FIRST CALL YOU WANNA MAKE - - THE FIRST VOICE YOU WANNA HEAR.

Its wonderful to love that way… so when the relationship ends - - sometimes we are LEFT… with ALL THAT FEELING and we don't know where to put it. We don't know what to do with ourselves. We don't know what we'll do without them. We feel like we have nothing without that person. That somehow when they LEAVE – they take the LOVE with them… that's not the case… while something is missing… the love I have – the love I gave - - is STILL INTACT… is still at HOME~

Do I feel empty?
Do I feel broken?
Do I feel lost?


NOT TODAY… that's not at all how I feel. I feel incredibly full. I can find beauty in the sadness. I can find HOPE in the ALONENESS… and I my FAITH… my faith is strong.

LAST WEEK WAS HARD… I was in a lot of pain… I was completely drained - - and eventually when I post those videos you see how much like shit I really looked ☺ but ALL IS GOOD… THE UNIVERSE IS GOOD TO ME… ALWAYS AND ALWAYS…

In licking my wounds…my wings are healing… this butterfly is soaring… I still have much work to do and I realize I am not ready for a relationship. I am not done with me yet…

So to that person… thank you for coming into my life~

To that person… I thank you for being apart of my unfolding~

Thank you for being apart of my learning~

Thank you~

I will continue to get ready~

I found this in an old blog I wrote: "Personal Legend Pt. 4: The Unfolding"
This is how I feel today… like I have always known what I want… I may not always know how I'm gonna get there… but I always believe all I desire will be mine. My life unfolds right on time – EVERY TIME~


Peace~