AFROLATINOS: LA HISTORIA QUE NUNCA NOS CONTARON~

Por favor únase a nosotros en nuestro viaje por toda América Latina para aprender sobre la historia que nunca nos enseñaron ~



Es nuestra responsabilidad de PARA ESCRIBIR NUESTRA HISTORIA~


En solidaridad...con amor...y en la PAZ~

Alicia

The Process – WEEK 1 in review~

Practicing The Artist Way – there are two things that are important during this process-doing the morning pages and going on the artist date… this week I have not missed a day of writing my morning pages… I must be honest there were a FEW days where I DID NOT do my morning writing the moment I opened my eyes—but I did write three pages every morning whether it be standing on the transmilenio (Bogota transportation) or our apartment after… ya tu sabe... Priorities people… contact over the pen wins EVERY TIME~ my artist date was watching interviews from Inside the Actors Studio. I love that show… I was able to hear from women I admire… there is always something said that leave a mark on my soul~

As for goals met on my other projects – Afrolatinos is going wonderful my main focus for this month in Bogota is having a working script for our first segment… HISTORY… I have never written a documentary script so I am learning as I DO IT~ I spent this week organizing a tight outline for the history segment and this week Renz (my biz partner) and we start editing this week. It’s going to be an amazing ride through time~

DOTR… the daughters… I am MORE inspired and excited about writing this novel and about the direction I am headed in—I am more motivated than I ever have before. I have a manuscript of about 160 pages (notes, ideas, and scenes) that I am currently re-reading and chopping…removing things that are NO longer relevant. Its interesting to see how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown – I started writing the DOTR in 2006 and my experiences up until now are going to make this story so much stronger… I can’t wait to start sharing sections from the novel~ For this I am so grateful… and so it is~

Enjoy your weekend… many blessings~

The Artist Way – Week 1/Assignment 4: Five Lives

In this assignment I was asked to write about FIVE imaginary lives I could see myself living~

I imagine the life of a FAIRY is full of play time… it would be wonderful to just be flying around… carefree… playful… childlike… I could fly… fly… fly… across the universe… I’d be free… not a care in the world… and I would have my crew of fairies… nia, lulu, bloo, luz, v, fiercefem, kira, kellydee, moca, j.f.s, lia and we would rule the world~

As JESUS CHRIST I would NOT have you do 20 Hail Mary’s and 69 Our Fathers… I would NOT have you searching the bible for answers to the burning questions of life… EVERYONE wants to be healed… long lines outside my door around the corner in Harlem… YES cause that’s where Jesus lives… near the Apollo. People who come to me for the QUICK FIX, the fast answer… I wouldn’t JUST GIVE IT AWAY… I would show you the way… I would show you how to heal yourself… because after all I am Jesus not GOD… we gotta stop depending on others to FIX US… to CURE US… TO HEAL OUR AILMENTS… to make it ALL BETTER. We must learn to look inside and do it for ourselves and once we’ve master how to heal OURSELVES teach and help others to do the same.

PRESIDENT DIOSA DOMINICANA of the Dominican Republic… that’s what I’d like to be called: Madam DIOSA… I only hope that in that role I would resist being power HUNGRY… to not take it so seriously… to not impose OUR laws on the rest of the world… to not enter other nations and rape them of their resources… to TRULY be about DEMOCRACY… whatever that means… to TRULY be about FREEDOM… whatever that means… to HELP more and KILL less. To bring and END to WAR and foster peace… more son cubano, bomba y plena and merengue tipico at our political meetings… to worry more about what is happening in our own backyard than stealing the resources from places that do not belong to us. I would TAX the rich and give it to the poor… I would be forced to answer the question—IS THERE REALLY ENOUGH JOBS for every person unemployed… in my role as president. I will not make empty promises… when sh*& is BAD I will let you know… I would hold fewer meetings and take more action… I’d be more of a grassroots... in your face … on the front line kinda president… you’ll find me wearing jeans and tank top my trademark… NO SECRET SERVICE necessary. My aim would be to do good work and not hide behind the gates of the Palacio Nacional… I’d get my hands dirty… and I’d FIRE mad people… there would be more people unemployed in government positions all over the country…

I am imagining myself as a YOUNG CHILD… of age two or three… when the world around me looks like an adventure… where I want to touch and taste everything… I have so many questions… everything is NEW… where NO is my favorite word… where my innocence is protected – where I am never reprimanded because everything that I do as a little girl is apart of MY GREAT EXPLORATION. I would play all day and sleep all night. As a young child I am FEARLESS – unconcerned about what others think… NO SELF DOUBT, NO INSECURITIES, GUILT FREE, NOTHING EMBARRASSES ME, NO FEAR, NO ANGER, NO RESENTMENT, NO JEALOUSY, NO ENVY, NO HATE… these emotions do not reside in the child in me… because I haven’t been TOUCHED yet… tainted… influenced… programmed… I haven’t learned these things yet. Here is where I’d like to reside… where my fantasies, dreams and imagination are nourished and never LEAVE ME ☺ that would make me happy~

Alicia the BRUJA… having mystical powers on ONE level seems omniscient… makes me feel strong – on another level it would come with great responsibility… to use my powers for good… I’d have a most powerful ability… to see things… to prevent things from happening… I could make things happen…a power I wouldn’t take lightly… I would have to remain in control at all times… because I might get trigger happy and get rid of people that get on my nerves and do so without hesitation~

And so it is~

The Artist Way – Week 1/Assignment 3: She Bleeds~

In this task I was asked to write about a HORROR STORY from my hall of fame.

This horror story would have to be about my most recent fight with HIM…because I didn’t act quickly enough with his request. I didn’t respond as fast as he would have wanted. He lost his mind – he started spewing venom I was completely floored and devastated… I was in shock… I am not even sure where the rage came from. But that didn’t stop him from calling me a F’g B!%@$... He told me to go F*&$ myself – “you ain't S***! YOU C*%&! You’re nothing but a lesbian!”

In my mind I was like DAMN YO! Actually that’s bullshit. In my head I was like F*** HIM… well it was ON~

I went off~ Trying to defend my honor and I flipped the F*$& OUT~ One of the negative triggers for me is being told “YOU AIN’T SH*&… YOU’RE a PIECE of Sh*&…” its this feeling of not believing I am WORTHY of being RESPECTED… feeling that I am nothing~

RESPECT is a big thing for me… I have always held RESECT as my most significant value… one of the things that has impacted me the most has been of not being respected – BY MEN. I’ve always had to fight that… I have always had to FIGHT FOR IT~ in my mind it’s quite simple – IF I RESPECT YOU… RESPECT ME~

So… because my visit with my family was so nice – I decided to SUBMIT~ I got quiet… I tried to let the words go… I truly thought I was going to escape this visit without a fight or argument. I believed there would be NO nasty words shot my way… yet the words kept coming “Lazy B*&^%! You ain't sh*&! F*&^ you! You’re nobody! You’re writing sucks! You’re full of sh*&!”

I almost wished I had recorded ALL he was saying to me… WOW how those words hurt. But recording them would’ve been like self-mutilation – repeating the words to myself over and over and over again…

I am left in this room… where I’m sitting—it’s a bathroom. I am ALONE with the words. I am looking at myself in the mirror – my hair is down I am staring in my eyes – eyes that are swollen – red tears gushing out.

I take a blade and cut my arm…

Starting at my elbow – cutting, cutting, cutting until I get to my wrist…

I move to the floor because I am about to pass out from seeing all this blood - - and then I blink back the tears and say – ENOUGH – that will do!

I have bled out all of the self-hate – all of the ugly words – all the negative hurtful things said to me and about me. There is an urgency… to GET IT ALL OUT~ All the poison is now gone and one by one the marks on my arm begin to heal – with new words…

Alicia is love – peace – fierce – fearless – a force – a powerhouse – a diva – a filmmaker – a wonderful mother – a brilliant writer – I am good – I am God – all that is good resides in me – I can release the bad – it is not the truth – it has never been the truth about me – I am at peace – I am ready for all the good that is coming and I know, trust and believe that I am worthy.

And so it is~

Many blessings~ Peace~ and LOVE~

Note: I did not, nor have I ever CUT myself… but I think sometimes we use words that CUT… that hurt others… sometimes we use words to CUT ourselves… to CUT ourselves or others down… we certainly should be mindful of our words… words DESTROY but they also BUILD~ Walk in PEACE and SPEAK in LOVE~