"My illusions..." and temptation…

I'm currently reading a book titled: The Country Under My Skin a Memoir of Love and War, by Gioconda Belli and there was a line that jumped out of me:

"My illusions of changing him into a happy man quickly evaporated. I was furious at the trap I found myself in—all because I had been so innocent, so romantic. In my terrible hurry to get on with life, I had married a man who longed to hide from it."

And then I came across this line and was like INTERESTING…

"It had never crossed my mind that a man could think he had the right to stop me from being who I was."

So I got to thinking about relationships…

How do we get the girl/guy?
How do we keep the girl/guy?

Then I arrive to another section in the book:

"One day, a day like any other, the Poet closed the door behind him as he walked into his office, a conspiratorial look on his face. As soon as the door shut, he kissed me. I slapped him across the face.

"How dare you! You know I'm a married woman!"

"But I'm in love with you. I was dying to kiss you," he said as he smiled playfully, unfazed by my reaction, which made me uneasy. He began to talk about my mouth, about how sensual and irresistible it was…."

"As time went on I got used to the Poet's advances but they still bothered me mainly because, despite my objections, I didn't want him to stop. They made me feel desirable irresistible."

"I tried to get my husband to react to me the way I thought a man in love should, but his listlessness was a constant barrier that blocked all my efforts. He said he loved me but he seemed to think there was no need to show it."

"We were as different as night and day."


What keeps the flame burning???
How does temptation play into all of this?

And I automatically jumped to the lines people use to rationalize why they cheat:

"How she got me is how she will keep me"
"He let himself go"
"She's boring in the bedroom… he only does ONE position"
"The relationship got old"
"She/he doesn't turn me on - - they don't do it for me anymore…"
"She/he fell out of love…"

And then we have many types of relationships:

The introvert & the extrovert in the relationship~
The extremely social and the anti-social~ Socialite and the hermit~
The relationship where both parties are identical~ each others mirror image~
The homemaker who's life is the home/the kids & the spouse who works outside of the house/the spouse with a life outside of the home~

How important is it to select a partner whose energy matches your own?
Do opposites really attract?
If you enter a relationship at such a high and then it dwindles – how does this relationship last?
What does it take for a relationship to work?
What does it take for a relationship to last?

The illusion that we can somehow make our relationships into what we'd like them to be… the idea that we can somehow alter another's personality into who we would like them to become - - to fit some pretty little mold that WE'VE created in our OWN minds.

The illusion of the PERFECT relationship…

And then we get disappointed when all of our efforts to try and change someone into what we'd hoped they'd become… "If you love me you'll --------" (fill in the blanks) FAIL.

Do we really accept people for who they ARE?
Do we really see people for who they ARE? And not what we'd like them to be…

How important is it to select a partner whose energy matches your own?
Do opposites really attract?
If you enter a relationship at such a high and then it dwindles – how does this relationship last?
What does it take for a relationship to work?
What does it take for a relationship to last?
What keeps the flame burning???

Peace~