Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I Won’t Fear Love~

I had a conversation with God today and he told me he loved me!

Do you fear love?

This evening I meditated on the word Unconditional Love: “it’s the acknowledging and accepting of the presence of the divine - - it’s selfless giving and openness to receiving”

There was a moment in my life that I was truly AFRAID to be LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY - - afraid of what it would do to me if I had it or lost it.

The ideas that kept me afraid were:

That love is painful
That love hurts
That love betrays
That love beats
That love disappoints
That love demeans
That love belittles
That love breaks
That true love doesn’t exist
That I would never be loved
That I would never find love
That love destroys
That love leaves
That love lies
That love dies
That love ends

I am forced to look at where I have been and where I am headed. I must ask myself - - am I open to all of the experiences of my life? Will I allow opportunities to pass me by? Will I allow my soul mate to just pass me on the street without even so much as a hello?

I can not control what is happening around me - - but I will not run away from love. I won’t fear love.

In the middle of reading my meditation on Unconditional Love - -something wonderful happened. - - I got a myspace email from God. It stopped me dead in my tracks - - I was frozen… I can admit it frightened me a little - - but I shook it off and realized who the message was from and the true intention behind it. I just sat there with these fabulous BCBG high heeled stilettos - - because at the precise moment I received the email - - my cousin was giving me a pair of heels as a gift.

God wrote:

“I think often times in our day to day functions
we often forget these things
life is beautiful and should be enjoyed
we should take our interactions with others
and hold them close
this is very important

if no one has told you today
let me be the first to say
I love you”

My instinct was to respond with the unoriginal “I love you too.” I didn’t do that…. I feared love. Why do we get so wrapped up in timing or the right time that we think it’s appropriate for things to happen in our lives?

When you come face to face with love you must rise to greet it.

You just trust and know - - that at that moment you are in unconditional love. What about just hearing and saying I love you and not worrying about what it all means – where its going… why not just trust that there is something higher going on - - can we just accept being loved just for being who we are - - in THIS moment. No questions asked - - no questioning of intentions or expectations… no digging – no credit checks or references necessary - no searching – no fantasies or illusions - -just being able to receive love - - the love that we are worthy of.

I won’t fear love.

And to God I respond:

Allow me to accept the love you give me.

Thank you for loving me… I’m not afraid of your love. Thank you for loving me without conditions or preconceived notions or some fantastical idea of how this will all turn out.

And if no one has told YOU today…allow me to be the first person to tell you I love YOU!

With love,

Iyanla writes: “when I am able to convince myself that no matter what I do - - I am still not good enough - - unconditional love will show me the truth!”

I realize that I have loved with conditions that I be loved in return - - that if I am giving love I should receive it. How about just loving for the love of loving - - without getting love in return. Can we just love for the satisfaction of giving it? Loving without expecting certain responses or reactions from people - - I often expected something in return for loving my people. Now I can just love them anyway - - without getting that I love you back… I won’t fear love.

It’s enough to know that I love me and I know that I am loved.

I guess now I’m not afraid of love… I know that I am worthy of love WE ALL ARE - - I accept that love is my state of mind -- with these letters that I have been writing - - I have been expressing the deepest form of self love…I was born to love and I act and speak in love. I admit to myself what I really want in my life. Love is always present in my life. I love myself and others unconditionally. Love is where I live!

There is only one love!

As I accept, acknowledge and embrace the source of unconditional love, it becomes the guiding force of my life

Have you told someone you loved them today?

Do you fear love?


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