With OR Without You!

Its Christmas Eve… and I am alone… I have sent my daughter to her fathers for two weeks… I am sad because I will miss her but I am happy that I will have some me time…

Today I have been thinking about all the things that bring me JOY…

My daughter is the first thing that comes to my mind…

We had the best weekend together we watched: Rent, Fame, and Purple Rain… any time with her brings me joy. Just laying in bed for two days straight watching movies – eating all of our meals in our pajamas… it’s THE LIFE… Other things that bring me joy are time spent with my family, my parents, my sisters, my brother, my cousins, and all of my relatives and friends.

Just now I was on the bus and I was filled with joy watching these two girls talking about me - -the older girl was pointing at my height and I just smiled at them and I could tell that in that moment… I shared my joy with them and they shared their joy with me… the other thing that filled me with joy was while I was writing this morning I was watching a few U2 and Green Day videos and my daughter just peeked out of the bathroom and smiled… I know Green Day is her favorite so I was filled with joy listening to her sing… HOLIDAY…

When we make someone else responsible for being - - everything…

I could be sad that my baby girl has left me alone for Christmas. But I’m not sad - - I am filled with JOY because we are both doing what we want to do. We are doing what brings us joy. Me I get to write for two weeks GUILT FREE and she gets to get spoiled and some deserved rest.

Making someone else responsible for being our everything… for being our every happiness…

Giving ourselves fully to someone in THAT way… (And you give…. And you give…. And you give yourself away…) this song kept playing in my head as I wrote…

With our Without You by U2…



Giving ourselves away…

Happiness does not sustain me - - joy fills me.

Today I was reading about the difference between JOY and HAPPINESS…

“JOY is an internal process grounded in the knowledge of spiritual truth, the ability to trust, the wisdom of the divine, and faith in the process of life.” Iyanla

Vs.

HAPPINESS which relies on events, things and people who MAY or MAY NOT show up in our lives…

Where JOY lasts… Happiness comes and goes… (we can buy things to make us happy, we may look to lovers to satisfy us – we may even look for happiness in outside forces). Joy is KNOWING that every we do have today - - is FINE just as it is - - RIGHT NOW in this moment! (With or without you)

Happiness HOPES that the thing we need will come soon… (That he/she/that thing - - that it will show up to make us happy).

No matter what I am going through - - I am full of joy… with or without you…

It’s not depending one something or someone outside of us to give us this feeling.

I was thinking about me in a relationship… I was considering which feeling state I would welcome in my life…

Me telling him: you bring me joy vs. you make soooo happy.

YOU make ME so happy – implies that if YOU leave me – YOU take all that makes me happy. Therefore I am left UNHAPPY. I’ve just given YOU complete control over my happiness - - I have made you responsible for making me happy and I rely on YOU to fill that.

But if I am FULL of joy - - and say to YOU - - you bring me joy… I am telling you that you ADD to something that already exists within me - - and if YOU DO LEAVE me… my joy stays with me. (With or without you)

This doesn’t mean that all will be great all the time or that every moment will be a joyful one… it doesn’t mean that things won’t make us angry - - it just means that - - when the sh&^ does hit the fan and it will – that no matter what we KEEP our joy.

Joy is the freedom and ability to make choices in the face of adversity - - accepting that we are on a journey and that nothing can stop us. It’s accepting that no one can take our joy.

I’ve been searching for the wrong thing - - looking for happiness. When its joy that I want to be filled with.

“Joy is what I create, attract and use to sustain myself at every moment of the day…”

“Joy begins within…”

“Joy is not dependent on people or circumstances…” Iyanla

When everything around me seems to be in disarray or not going very well… the joy inside me gets me through it - - I know that I am being taken care of - - this KNOWING brings me great joy.

I have spent the better portion of my life wanting to just be happy… stolen temporary moments that expire - - when what I truly want is constant joy - - a joy that fills me… and these days I am giving me JOY.

Joy can sustain me through anything and everything…

One heart, One hope, One love…



Joy to the world… and peace on earth… MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! (And everything you do or don’t celebrate… sending you wishes for JOY in your lives)

What brings you joy?

Peace~