Wednesday, February 6, 2008

How do you know~

"How do you know you're in love?"

I was just sitting at my desk thinking about this question. And I'm asking my self this question because I KNOW that I AM IN LOVE with someone.

I'm not just talking about love here… I'm talking about anything WE LOVE… like choices of career paths, our purpose, our direction, friends we keep, even food we like to eat…

People will ask us:

How do you know that he's the one?
How do you know that she's the one?
How do you know you're in love?
How do you know you love them?
What is it about them?
Why do you love them?

It's like people want this fast answer. People demand these answers QUICK….

People want things defined~

Why do we have to justify and explain our reasons to people that HONESTLY SPEAKING and in the grand scope of things have absolutely NOTHING to do with the TWO people who are involved in their development.

Its crazy… the questions, the criticisms, the judgments, the well intentioned intrusiveness - - especially from those closest to us - - but it's really the QUESTIONS that bother me.

I feel like for the most part I don't pay too much attention to what people think about my decisions. BUT when it comes to those I hold closest to my heart - - those people I have a history with - - the people who REALLY know me. Sometimes I feel that their opinions matter - - they are the ones I choose to confide in - - they are who I rely on as trusted sources…and at times I have paid WAYYYY too much attention to what they say, feel and believe. And I have done this because I TRUST the source. I trust that they love me and want the best for me… BUT IS THIS ALWAYS THE CASE??? Can WE always trust where they are coming from?

I have been sitting with these thoughts for the past few days…. Thinking about the things I have shared about my life - - things that mean a lot to me with certain people in my life.

And what I'm thinking about is:


Do people want the best for US - - when they aren't getting or don't possess or aren't working at getting what's best - - for THEM?

So here's a recent example that sort of left me dumbfounded. I shared some exciting news about something that happened to me with someone I care about and they took what I shared and made it ugly… with the QUESTIONS and worrying about next steps… they immediately jumped to the next subject… never once seeming genuinely happy for me… I shared my news and they were ready to turn the page. They pointed to all the things that could go wrong… they painted this picture of worse case scenario - - when I was really just sharing my happiness - - AND THANK YOU KINDLY - - but I wanted to keep that state of happiness. I was like WOW… I just walked away and was like - - MAN I know better next time.

It's not like I was waiting for a…

But some enthusiasm would have been nice.

OK so here's my beef… while my exciting news may not be exciting news to YOU - - why would you crap on it?

People are interesting….

We can get different responses by different people… some people will jump up and down at our successes or accomplishments while others…

How do we deal with people who choose to stay in miserable – helpless states? The Haters~

They claim to want the best for us~

But it's the BEST for US according to whom?

According to WHAT - - is it the best and what's right and comfortable for them?

Why is that I can be in the best mood, happy as a pig in $&%^ - - and then I come in contact with someone who may be ISN'T having the best of luck or a good life or the best day… is it really difficult for us to rise above our own crap and be happy for others.

The other question is… why do we ALLOW their misery to change our happy state?

Why do we allow negative responses to affect our mood?

I have found that at times it can be difficult to take criticisms and I have allowed the thoughts and beliefs of others to offend me… allowing the words they say to become my thoughts - - how do we deflect? How do we not let it in?

Do miserable people really want company?

Do people want the best for US - - when they aren't getting or don't possess or aren't working at getting what's best for THEM?

How do we deal with people who choose to stay in miserable – helpless states?

How do we deal with The Haters~


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