“I love making you jealous - - it shows me how much you love me?”
“I only get jealous because I want you to know how much I love you?”
“I can’t stand fulanita - - I don’t like her… and her success… who does she think she is?”
“Why do you have to spend so much time with….?”
My love was on the phone with me the other day… telling me about all the new people in her life… the friends she is making on her travels… she IS happy… FULL of joy… and for the most part all of the people she has told me about sound like wonderful additions to her life… except for ONE (lets call her BLACK BEAUTY)…
Background on BLACK BEAUTY… one word – STUNNING~
Another word – SEXY~
Something happened inside of me… I felt a hint of jealousy… she’s been spending some time with BLACK BEAUTY and they’re connecting… establishing a friendship… and I feel something every time I hear BB’s name… I’m sitting here wondering why I feel this way… why do I automatically cringe when my love shares the details of their time together?
They’re just hanging… having dinner… going dancing… doing what home girls do~
I guess one part of it… is that I wish it were me she was spending time with… I wish I could be with her… I wish we could have romantic dinners, go on evening strolls, or just watch a corny movie together.
I wish I was close enough to just jump on a train to see her and bring her soup - - did I mention that my love works in Colombia (the country)~
I don’t like to feel jealous… I don’t want to be jealous… I definitely want to let this go. I don’t want her for myself… I shouldn’t be selfish… I have a handful of people I spend my time with on a regular…
Why does it bother me?
Why do we get jealous?
Why do we get jealous in relationships?
Where does jealousy come from?
When is jealousy healthy?
Another thought… if we remove that feeling of being jealous - - will the people in our lives feel that we no longer care for or love them?
Peace~
1 comment:
It's such a raw human emotion. I don't think there is a woman on the planet that wouldn't feel the same in your situation. She is beautiful and spending lots of time with your love. But even worse... she has the thing you desire most...time. It's only natural for you to feel what you are feeling.
There is a woman...I will call her Latin Beauty lol... she is STUNNING, and has a beautiful heart as well...she is kind and humble but I feel small whenever I am around her. Her presence is HUGE...and intimidating. She fuels my insecurities without trying. I would be a little jealous if she were hanging around my love too... =/ But again... for women... I think this is normal.
As long as you don't feel disrespected in any way... perhaps you will feel differently in time.
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