Wednesday, March 23, 2011
EXCERPTS from Finding Your Force: A Journey to love
I am (11) days away from reaching my goal and beginning the final stages of completing and publishing my very FIRST book.
Finding Your Force: A Journey to Love is my memoir. It’s about how one woman moves through the darkest moments of her life, taking you through her journey as a writer and mother and ALL that is found out and discovered when one goes digging. This has not been an easy journey. I have spent the past ten years building up enough strength and skill to write this story and I am HERE! Now I AM READY. Now I am strong enough to share it with you. I am in the process of editing down my manuscript of 1068 pages.
My hope is to reach my goal. I know that in so many ways I already have. My wish is that you will back me with any amount… please share my project with your friends and family. Spread the word. I am excited to begin working with an editor and self-publishing my book.
For more information on my project please visit my Finding Your Force kickstarter page at: http://kck.st/ebjRM9
The result for me will be the same… I will continue writing, growing, sharing and LOVING… Thank you for your support.
Peace, light and LOVE~
Here are some excerpts from Finding Your Force:
“Today I woke up, got ready to start my day and froze.
I put on a movie – sat back down… dressed in my dressy black slacks, pretty black shoes, white button down blouse, favorite necklace, in my business attire… slowly putting on my jewelry, my hoop earrings, my rings and bracelets that are like my armor. My pen in hand… my pen that serves as my sword and I am frozen. Frozen in this moment~
Thinking about all I’ve been through in my life… yet I know that there isn’t enough time in this day to really go there and write about all of it. I am being called to GO THERE… to relive a moment… to really look at where I have been… what I’ve been through… how did I get to where I am today?
So much of my journey has already been documented in my blogs. But this time it feels different. I am not being called to write the same thing over and over again. I am being called to look at it with fresh perspective, new eyes… self awareness. It’s real easy for me to go back and read where I came from… harder to go back and relive it... open the wound again… feel it again. Allow it to bleed again… revealing a different truth… and this is what frightens me. The truth can be ugly!
I’m on a new journey today. I’m about to start a new chapter in my life… Alone…Blank pages…Afraid the ink will run out…Maybe I’m hoping that it will run out…So that I don’t have to explore… I am the archeologist in my life…Being called to an expedition… an excavation…The great big dig…I am examining the ruins…The ruins of my life~”
“I remember lying there thinking… “God, please let me out of this alive…”
That night I lay in my daughters’ bed… and I cried all night… I was so thankful she was with her father and didn’t hear or see any of it…
Was this really happening to me?
Did this shit really just happen to me? I never thought I would ever allow a man to hurt me? Not like this? I cried all night. I wanted to kill him… I was terrified… horrified… I was so scared… I went to people I knew who could get me a gun…. I wanted him dead. But they wouldn’t give me one… people kept talking to me about my daughter… and what about her…
The months that followed were torture… a living HELL….
He would come to my job with threats… he threatened to kill people I love if I left him. I was living in terror.
One day we were in my car driving. He didn’t know it… but I was driving his ass back to Boston… when he realized what I was doing… he pulled on the wheel… threatening to drive us off the road…
“Do it… I will fucking kill us right now!!!!”
He was trying to get me to stop.
“I will drive us off this fucking cliff before I allow you to hurt anyone I love!!!”
And I fucking meant that shit… at this point I wanted to kill us both.
He tried to grab me by my neck again… he ripped the cross from my neck that I was wearing. I cried… saying… I can’t do this….
The threats continued….
I finally allowed him back into the apartment to get the remaining items that belonged to him. We were in my bedroom. We were alone. He started to get angry… telling me that this was so easy for me… who the hell did I think I was…
He pushed me on the bed… face down…”
Finding Your Force: A Journey to Love – in bookstores July 26, 2011
To back this project: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/iwasborntheplay/finding-your-force-a-journey-to-love