What are you made of?
I wanted to write a quick blog today about WHAT IT TAKES… and WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF… yesterday I spent the day promoting my upcoming book… my memoir Finding Your Force but in between all of that… things kept entering to stop me from doing the work I needed to get done… things were happening around me that got me thinking about ALL that has prevented me in the past from getting to this point.
FEAR… I received several calls and emails from people all day yesterday… all talking about the same thing… FEAR… and the question I was hearing is… HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO IT? Are you ever afraid?
During yoga yesterday my mind was racing… I could not find my center. I could not get quiet. I could not get still. So many things to do.. so many things undone.. so many concerns… so many worries… and all of this going on in my head when I should just be getting to the point of BEING and KNOWING…
FEAR is a voice… Fear is this horrible voice that doesn’t empower… Fear doesn’t show up to help me… Fear doesn’t lift me… Fear is that voice in your head from your PAST… telling you YOU’RE not good enough, YOU’RE not smart enough, YOU’RE not prepared enough…. YOU’RE not WORTHY OF having all you desire…
Do I get afraid?
HELL YES… absolutely…
How do I deal with my fear?
I move forward anyway…
I know what it is to be paralyzed and stuck… allowing fear to completely control my direction.
I also know… that WHAT IT TAKES for me to get to where I know I will be… it is moving despite all the fear.
And when I forget who I am and all that it took to get here… its reminders like this note that I received just last night before shutting my eyes to go to sleep:
“My dear Alicia, I have to say that I often think of the pain that you have endured throughout the years. To purposely relive them is very brave of you. You are a powerhouse of truth, a person with BIG COJONES. I am proud of the fact that you see the ugliness in this world and refuse to let it make you give into its clutches. What happened with this very ugly ugly person was on another perspective symbolic of your ability to stand up to fear and say...."Fuck that shit....I will survive, I will overcome, I will share my truth so others can be empowered too......NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! My power comes from a higher place. A place of peace, love kindness, humility and so much more. Fear is afraid to love. The light always outshines all things..... Sorry, that is just the way it is. This is who you are. I love you so much and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will succeed. Oh... scratch that.....you already have! SO excited for you. Sending you waves of love. Your amiga always.”
To my very best friend… you are the woman I honor today… thank you for being in my life… you have been LIGHT for me when I have been lost… you have loved me through every dark moment… I have known you almost 20 years and you have been consistent and CONSTANT in my life. Courtney and I love you very much. You are a healer… much of what I know about the spiritual world I learned from you… you are a great teacher with incredible gifts. So many people have gained so much from knowing you… and I know that you have so many more people to touch. Thank you for your presence in my life. Thank you for saving my life on more than one occasion. I am blessed to know you… and grateful you are my best friend, soulmate and spiritual sister.
I love you,
PS. Thank you for dealing with and helping me through all my “DAYS FROM HELL…” I don’t even remember the last time I had one of those…