Day of the dead…
Last night, November 2nd
marked the year celebration of Dia de los Muertos…
In honor of those who have died…
In honor of those who have left us…
In honor of our ancestors and loved ones
who have transitioned…
Day of the Dead honors all those who have
moved into their next life.
I am not feeling very well today. My body
feels incredibly weak. I am not feeling particularly happy in this moment.
Perhaps it’s all the energy I am picking
up on… people around me, people in my life… the pain of the world.
Where
am I headed?
What
does life really have in store for me in THE END?
THE END!
This is what is coming up for me today in
meditation… THE END!
There is such finality in—THE END!
She asked me to share with her what I was
feeling. I told her that I had words on the tip of my tongue… two words.
She wanted to know what the two words
were… actually she was badgering me to blurt it them out because she always
wanted to know what was in my head because she never respected or understood
that my process was/is to process.
So I gave her what she so desperately
wanted to hear… my two words… THE END!
I wanted IT over. I wanted US over. We
weren’t getting along. We no longer fit. The reasons for us meeting were foggy
in that moment of fury.
It no longer mattered why we were
together it was time for it to END… THE END!
Endings…
Where do our loved ones go? Are they in a
place called heaven? Are they in peace? Are they in paradise? Are they happy?
Endings…
In that final moment before they left
this place were they ready? Was Spirit waiting for them to crossover into the
Kingdom? Or are we being called to find our way out of Hell and live in Heaven
here on Earth… in the here and now?
Excerpt from Finding Your Force A Journey
to Love~
Dear
Alicia, someone I love died last night. I am incredibly sad and scared. What
will I do now without my true friend? My box has been with me since the day I
was born~ it has kept me from harms way so many times~ now I must to learn to
live without it~ You’ve been here for me through thick and thin~ It’s extremely
sad to leave you~ You were the one constant in my life~ You were the one I
could rely on~ You were the one who never failed me~ You were the one who never
disappointed me~ You were the one who had my back… ride or die~
I never
thought you would leave me~ But you have left me~ you're gone~ When those girls
jumped me and had my hair wrapped around that pole you and my brother were
there~ When men broke my heart you were there~ When women broke my heart you
were there~ When I was hurting you made me smile and you were always there~
When I was hit you healed my wounds and you were there~ When I cried you wiped
away my tears and you were there~ For every happy moment you were there~ For
every sad moment you were there~ For everything you were there~ In my most
scary moments you were there~ During the worst of my "learned errors"
you were there~ When life seemed difficult you were there~ When I didn't believe
in me you were there~ When my 4th grade teacher made fun of me you
were there~ When I was lonely you were there~ When I was scared you were there~
When I was in pain you were there~ A part of me wants to hold onto you but I
know I can't~ I must let you go~ You will always be apart of me I will never
forget you~ I thank you for all you have brought me – goodbye dear friend – may
you rest in peace~ May “the force be with you!”
Cielo
finally shared with me the story about the moment she lost her voice.
I didn’t
speak because I was afraid that no one would love me… that no one would listen.
I was afraid to be in this place alone. I wanted to feel valued, valuable and
worthy. I wanted to feel worthy of love. What would it feel like if I were in
this place alone? There was something I was resisting. I was afraid of speaking
up and speaking out. I am ready to fight for what I believe in now. I am
prepared to fight for all the injustices. Why did I lock my voice in that box?
I didn’t like the sound of my voice. What would happen if I let my voice in? It
would be deafening? My voice would be beautifilled. My voice is full of love,
truth and honor. What does my voice sound like? What does it feel like? It’s
moving. It inspires. It is a great force. It is hope, strength and power. My
voice speaks for those who are silent, full of pain and invisible. Allowing my
voice in has made me unstoppable. My life is transformed. Voice is my FORCE and
we are invincible.
Life
Death
Rebirth
Birth
Death
Rebirth
My memoir, Finding Your Force, is divided
into three parts: Birth, Death and Rebirth. I intentionally chose them as
headings because I have gone through the cycles many times in this lifetime and
I am sure millions of times in past lives.
BIRTH is just that… about the many births
of ALICIA and the beautiful daughter I have brought into this world in addition
to the many projects I have given birth to.
Then there is DEATH… after moving through
the breakdowns, the depression, the sadness, the grief, and the loss… once I
understood what ENDINGS really mean for me I can anticipate with excitement
that every perceived loss or ending is in a fact a new beginning and I look
forward to its coming.
And finally, REBIRTH… this is where I get
to begin again… I get to do it again… I get to do it differently… in rebirth
the cycle begins again. New beginnings… new start… fresh perspective.
As I begin this day I call forth all
things that do not serve me to DIE in me and I ask Spirit to BIRTH new forms of
being and I am so excited at its coming.
I AFFIRM
Today, I am being called to acknowledge
the death of things that no longer serve me.
Today, I will know that I am birthing new
projects, ideas and a life filled with love, peace, happiness, abundance and
joy.
Today, I allow the old to die.
Today, I am ordering my life and readying
it for all the wonderful blessings that are coming to me.
~ For this knowing I am so grateful~
Today, I honor my ancestors, my guardian
angels and Spirit Guides and thank the all for always protecting me.
And so it is~
Aché
© Copyrighted
Alicia Anabel Santos 2012
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