Always at the last minute~

My word today is discipline…

I have been thinking about how I create and maintain my - - to do lists. What is it that really gets accomplished from the list?

Do lists really work for me?
What is my discipline?
Am I disciplined?
What is the method to my madness?

I don’t know about the rest of the world… but I am a serious list person.

I keep lists on post its, on the back of envelopes, on my hand, in my phone, I text myself, email myself, leave myself voicemails, write myself notes in my journals and in any book as the thought or mood arises.

I have lists of things that I add to my - - to do list~
I have a master – to do list~
I have a master FINAL to do list~
I have a major GOALS list~
I have a major PROJECT list~
I have a list for each project that I work on~
I have created lists on word, PowerPoint, and excel~

We won’t even go there with the black berry outlook task list or my Franklin Covey planner, or the notes that I have on the walls at home~

What’s my point? Way too many lists… and not enough discipline~

I have done more creating of lists than actually getting the items on the lists DONE - - by the time I attempt to get to my TO DO lists - - I’m exhausted from thinking about all the things I MUST get done on those lists vs. actually DOING the things on those lists.

Its amazing how you can get so used to doing things in a certain way and reaping NO benefits (i.e. my to do lists) which can also be seen as a form of discipline in my life (a method that is self sabotaging and unsuccessful) but it has been my discipline – "the lets NOT get things done discipline."

It’s that kind of discipline that keeps us from truly getting to where we need to be or having the things that we really do want. I know for me I am ready for a new way… a way that will work for me… and certainly a realistic form of discipline for my lifestyle and personality.

Avoidance and procrastination… are two other words that came up today when thinking about discipline - - I’m thinking about how I handle myself and my life… how do I get it all done - - all the important and not so important things from my "to do" list.

I ALWAYS WAIT TO THE LAST MINUTE….

Two weeks ago I had a meeting with my accountability partner and she gave me a deadline of 3/17 (which was yesterday) to show her the outline for my novel… life happens - - other projects became the priority and yesterday I was trying to decide how I would get out of my meeting because I didn’t have an outline to show her – I didn’t want to waste her time.

Following through on my commitments is incredibly important to me and I was feeling really disappointed in myself. At some point during the day yesterday I got this burst of energy opened word and started typing an outline… I came up with the names for my characters and had an outline to show my partner.

Always at the last minute… but I did get it done… I always get it done~

In the past I used to say - - I work well under pressure… that’s a bunch of BS~ I work fast under pressure… which means I am stressed, anxious, work isn’t at 100% maybe 80%, maybe 70% especially when I have someone riding me to get it done - - I need to be realistic - - I need a different way - - I need discipline.

I must realize that all that I do, and the manner in which I do it, will determine how far I go and how quickly the process will move me forward.

Discipline is the value I place on me~

Avoiding doing what I must get done - - is a form of procrastination.

Part of my procrastination was fear of success and part of it was the fear of failure… a small part of it was fear that I wasn’t good enough to do it, smart enough to do it, capable enough to do it, I’d rather be home watching TV, hanging out on myspace or making small talk with complete strangers…. All forms of me NOT GETTING MY SHIT DONE~

For me being disciplined is about meeting my deadlines and making my dreams come true. For me being disciplined is putting me first~

My vow and the way I choose to honor me today - - the way I plan on being more disciplined is to start small… baby steps~

There are 14 days left in the month of March…

I plan on picking ONE thing from my TO DO list and putting ONLY one thing for each day this month. (This does not include all the little things that we get done in our lives…all the minor emergencies and our life responsibilities - - I am a mom so I am busy, and there are many things I get done during the day at the magazine I work for). My plan is to get ONE thing done for me.

I figure by the time I get to April. I will have COMPLETED 14 items from my list and that my friends is discipline - - and a HUGE accomplishment. J

I still have much work to do in the areas of discipline – but I am willing to try something new to get the results that I want without all the stress of waiting to the last minute.

I definitely want to live a more disciplined life~

For me it’s important to have discipline in my practice, in my writing, with my time and at my job so that I can achieve my goals, make my deadlines and live my Personal Legend~

What’s your discipline?
Are you disciplined?
What is the method to your madness?

Peace~