Journal entry: November 8, 2011
As much as men have hurt me I think it’s the relationships with women that have hurt me the most. I’ve always wanted to feel respected by women. This friend didn’t respect me. She pitied me. She felt sorry for me. But I am powerful beyond measure. I am tired of playing my strength down. I was born for greatness. I am here to do great things. I am powerful beyond measure. I guess I have felt like I have something to prove… this intense need to prove how good I am… to prove how loving I am. Prove how true I am. Prove how loyal I am. Prove how much of a good student I am. I have nothing to prove to you or anyone else.
The truth is I have already shown myself who I am. The truth is I have already shown myself what I can do. The truth is I have already shown myself who I am. The truth is I am powerful beyond measure.
My head feels a little lighter… a little clearer. My heart feels more open. I am beginning to feel again. I am beginning to heal again. I am beginning to fill myself again.
Creator, I am so grateful there is great insight happening right now. Yesterday I felt that this journal was bad luck. I felt like this journal was keeping me from writing because I started writing in this journal in June. For six months I have been stuck… with nowhere to go. That’s what this journal has felt like for me… this journey has felt like movement NOWHERE – this journey of six months being stuck and finally I am beginning to feel free as if something is finally being unlocked. A demon is being exercised from my body. I CAN breathe… I take a deep breath and in this moment I smile because I am on to something and my heart feels like it’s beating a little bit faster. My heart felt like it had stopped beating as if my blood had stopped flowing. I was a walking corpse and I smile because I feel myself entering my body again and I feel amazing. For this knowing – for this growing I am eternally grateful. And so it is~ amen~ ache
I AFFIRM: I can choose to be powerful or pitiful. I can not be both. I choose to be powerful!