Journal Entry: Wednesday, November 9th
Mother God is birthing though me!
At every moment I am being renewed, revitalized everything I need is already here. I am going through some birthing pains. I am giving birth and releasing this post partum depression.
During my meditation today I realized that I have been going though labor pains for quite a while. These labor pains came immediately after giving birth to my first book “Finding Your Force!”
So much has come up for me. So many unexpected things have risen for me. This overwhelming feeling that I am nowhere near where I should be or that I have somehow failed.
What I forget is that I am like a newborn child giving birth to a mother and this postpartum depression that I have been suffering from has been paralyzing me. I have forgotten who I am and I have forgotten why it is that I have been chosen to do this.
Just as my daughter chose me to be her mother, my creator has chosen me to live a life of continued birthing and creating.
That’s what this writing is for me—the birthing of new. That’s what my spiritual practice is about… it’s my journey towards constant giving birth and going this renewal process over and over again of death and rebirth. It is all part of my life cycle… and so this postpartum depression comes along with it.
So as I die to the old me… I welcome the new me. And I thank Mother God for birthing through me right now and I welcome you.
I am so much stronger now… yet there are just a few more things I need to learn.
As the old me dies, the new me I am giving birth to is absolutely beautiful~
Allow me to be renewed~
Allow me to be a temple~
Allow me to walk with grace~
Allow me to walk with love and in love~
And so it is