Sunday, October 7, 2012

Meditation 32: WHY AM I HERE? ~ Day 16

Day 16: 40 Days~
Good morning day…
This is a very HUGE question to ask someone first thing in the morning.
Why are you here?
What are you here to do?
When will you begin?
When will you finish?
When will you complete it?
When will you go after it?
When will you arrive?
What are you waiting for?
“Create or perish is the eternal mandate of nature. Be constructive or become frustrated, is an equal demand. You cannot escape the conclusion that whatever this thing is which is seeking expression through everything, it can find satisfactory outlet only through constructive and life-giving creativeness.” This Thing Called You~
This thing we are searching for is searching for us…this THING is what I am meditating on today. This thing… this search…
“Your soul belongs to the universe. Your mind is an outlet though which the Creative Intelligence of the universe seeks fulfillment.” ~This Thing Called You
It was March of this year, Women’s History Month. I was invited to Syracuse University to deliver a keynote address.

There were so many points I wanted to make. There were so many important themes I could have spoken on. There was an exercise I had the audience do that I am being reminded of during meditation today. It was about life and purpose. It was about what we are here to do. It was about doing the thing that we are passionate about. It was really about figuring out what that passion is. I gave the audience six seconds to write down the one thing they deeply desired out of life and on the other side they were to write down one action they would take to get there. I didn’t give them a lot of time because the intention was for them not to give it a second thought. Quick responses like that do not allow for self-editing, doubt and questioning to happen. They would not be able to edit the truth. The true desire and the true action required.
I am here to grow.
I am here to learn.
I am here to evolve.
I am here to LOVE.
I am here to give.
I am here to serve.
I am here to share.
I am here to feel everything.
I am here to write it all down.
I am here to write about every messed up experience and every wonderful experience in the most authentic and loving way.
What is the one thing you dreamt of being?
What is the one thing you dreamt of doing?
Grab a piece of paper… answer this: (no cheating)
You have 3 seconds…
The one thing I have always wanted is… 1… 2… 3… whatever the first thought was… go with that --- write THAT down! It might feel uncomfortable… you might feel stupid even thinking it possible… write it… THAT’S THE REAL THING!
Turn the paper over…
The one action step I need to take to achieve this is… 1… 2… 3… whatever the first thought is… write THAT down!
“One day something happens within. Consciousness expands and sees that which before was invisible. One feels a flow of warmth; a Presence never before known becomes tangible, very real.” The Infinite Way~
“There is something within you beyond all doubt and fear, something which has never been limited by your acts or destroyed by your feeling. This is the only something that can make your whole.” ~This Thing Called You
As I sit here I am smiling because I know that I am doing exactly what I came here to do~ and for that knowing I am so grateful~
Today I stand in the truth that all things are possible if I believe.
Today I believe that my dreams are possible and are coming true.
Today I stand in the truth knowing that the very thing that I want… wants me.
Today I stand in the truth that the very thing that I have been searching for is searching for me.
Today I announce my truth and will take one action in the direction of my dreams, and I know that as I move, the universe will do the rest.
And so it is~ Aché

While I was sad an amazing thing happened the universe sent me someone to pull me out of my depression. This woman was sent to remind me to SMILE passed my scars, to smile passed my pains, to just smile but I will get to that. That morning I was reading a blog about PURPOSE—finding your purpose and knowing your purpose. Why am I here? What is my purpose? I wrote those words at the top of a blank page – WHY AM I HERE? I lay back down and while I was lying down I started to think about the women in my life. The writers that I know, friendships that I have formed, my relationship with you, my sisters, cousins, aunts, Lulu and just the everyday people I have had conversations with about FINDING OUR PURPOSE or FINDING YOUR FORCE and the many different ways that people describe what purpose means to them. Purpose = vision, mission, goal, passion, dream and personal legend. There are so many ways to define purpose.

I continued thinking about my own purpose. WHY is Alicia here?  And what is it that I should be doing while I am here? I lay back down and that’s when the phone rang. I answered and it was a person I had never met, a person that I do not KNOW, but nevertheless it’s a phone call from a person that is incredibly important for my life story and who arrived to my life in the precise moment that I needed her. The woman called me by my first name like she’d known me for years and we just started talking. I didn’t even ask her how she got my number. We spent I don’t know how long on the phone. She told me about herself and how she would like to attend one of our writers groups one day.

During that conversation I started crying but I didn’t allow her to hear me. Even though I didn’t know her I felt connected to her. She was telling me wonderful things about how inspired she was by me. As I listened to her share her testimonial about her life that’s when I realized that SHE was an inspiration to ME. In that moment I understood that—THAT IS my purpose. My purpose is to connect to people and provide them with a space to share their stories. I am here to support them on their journey and help them with healing through words. My purpose is to connect, to listen and to love. And while they may believe that I inspire them  - it’s the other way around. They are brought into my life to inspire me. So to that woman I say thank you. ~Finding Your Force


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