Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Meditation 57: Listening to the Heart ~ Day 40

It is the last day of my 40-Day Fast~
The past 40 days have been intense. I absolutely have fallen off track a few times, losing focus and momentum. There have been moments where I have felt I dishonored my self and my process. It has been a challenge, this KEEPING IT POSITIVE for 40 days straight and NOT allowing anything negative to enter my spirit space.
How do we incorporate spiritual law in our daily living?
How do we keep it positive in a world filled with pain?
For forty days I have made a personal vow to go deeper into myself and apply the teachings into my everyday experiences. There have been moments where I have done beautifully, transforming something painful into something wonderful just by just turning off the switch—not allowing myself to get mad and as easily as releasing the pain that attempted to get in … by replacing it with LOVE… with loving thoughts. Reminding myself that LOVE always trumps fear.
For forty days I have been feeding myself beautiful messages at the beginning of each day and hoping that these words would carry me for the entire day—for the entire 40 Days. I have been surrounding myself with things that make me feel good and avoiding those things that don’t feel good.
Here’s a word to meditate on Alicia! How have you been avoiding?
Avoiding implies that I can prevent bad things from happening, negativity from arriving, pain from affecting me. For 40 days I have believed that if I just keep it positive… the negative can’t touch me. For 40 days I have believed I can somehow control everything. On the 40th day of my fast I have learned the most important lesson. While I have many gifts… while I have many tools… while I have a strong spiritual practice… while my faith and relationship with Spirit is at its strongest… the most important lesson I have learned is that I control NOTHING!
Yes! I have gifts and tools that will certainly aid me in moving through moments and experiences. However, moments and experiences cannot and must not be avoided because this is where my greatest lesson and most important learning happens—through the people I meet and the experiences I face.
What I learned is that I can’t control any of it. What I have learned is that my journey doesn’t end here at 40 days. I have only just begun. This is a way of life… its constant movement towards that which makes me happy.
“I am never alone; I am all the many people I meet and who have understood my soul through books. I am not a stranger.” ~ Aleph
What I have learned is that I am never alone. Through my writing I understand that there are many people on this journey with me.
“I’ve made many men suffer, and I’ve suffered greatly, too,” Hilal goes on. “The light of love flows out of my soul, but it can go nowhere because it’s blocked by pain. I could inhale and exhale every morning for the rest of my life, but that wouldn’t solve anything. I know that you can heal me and that I can heal what you’re feeling.” ~ Aleph
I love the above quote…
I take it one step further… it’s more than just a conversation between two people. We can heal each other. On my journey of discovery and spirituality my intention is obvious… how can I be more loving… how can I be more perfect… how can I be more me? By loving YOU!
On this journey I have met you and for that I am so grateful!
“If you believe in the words you write, allow the people around you to grow with you.” ~ Paulo Coelho
What I am meditating on today is constant JOY.
How do I carry joy?
How do I allow for Joy to be my state of mind?
Understanding that there is nothing I can avoid or control yet at the same time knowing that nothing that happens around me can take my joy from me. Its remembering where to turn to when things threaten to take my joy from me. I can remember to go back to my center even when I am in a car full of people doing 75 on the Van Wyck Expressway, when all I want to do is jump out onto the highway and roll into the street trying to escape and hold onto my joy… I always have a choice… I can remember that I AM PEACE! I can remember that I AM JOY!
Excerpt from Finding Your Force~

I wore a mask for my daughter that we were ok. But we were one step away from homeless.

You were the one wearing a mask this time. You pretended to not be scared. You really believed that I was going to get us out of this one. This time even my faith  was shaken. I was worried. We were almost going to be put out onto the street. We were two days away from that experience. My poor decision-making landed us in that mess. Things needed to change. I needed to get my shit in order. I understood that I was supposed to feel all  of that. I was supposed go through all of it. That was my lesson to learned and after that moment I have never been the same. I am so grateful that we were able to save our apartment. I am so grateful to Kelly and my boss for lending us the money. I am grateful that my prayers were answered.

Prayer: Creador, thank you. Gracias a mis orishas, mis guías y protectores a mi derecha, mis angeles de la guardia. Thank you. For a while I didn’t know if I’d make it. I doubted that I would really get through it. So much was thrown at me at the same time. There were moments I didn’t believe I could get up and you creator, my force showed me the way. You showed me that I could. You showed me that I would get up. That I would not crumble. My force showed me that I would keep moving even with all the blows. I’ve been here before and will keep moving. I am so grateful for all the strength… for all the hard lessons… for all the pain… for all the love. I am grateful for your guidance and protection. I know that there is nothing I can’t get through. I know that for certain now. So I thank you. I am so full. I feel like life is changing for me. Thank you. ~ Finding Your Force A Journey to Love is available on Amazon~

“Every man’s experience is an attempt to merge his own being with this eternal river, not to the loss of his identity, but to the discovery of that self which has never wholly left its heaven. Like an echo from some unknown shore there is a voice seeking to be heard.” ~ This Thing Called You~
For 40 Days I have been listening to my heart… thank you for taking this journey with me.
Today, I am being called to be peace.
Today, I am being called to know that I am JOY.
Today, I am called to know that I control nothing.
Today, I trust that all that is meant for me will be mine.
Today, I will know that my healing is your healing.
Today, I will know that Spirit is always with me ~ for this knowing I am so grateful~
And so it is~

© Copyrighted Alicia Anabel Santos 2012

No comments: