It is the last
day of my 40-Day Fast~
The past 40 days
have been intense. I absolutely have fallen off track a few times, losing focus
and momentum. There have been moments where I have felt I dishonored my self
and my process. It has been a challenge, this KEEPING IT POSITIVE for 40 days
straight and NOT allowing anything negative to enter my spirit space.
How do we incorporate spiritual law in
our daily living?
How do we keep it positive in a world
filled with pain?
For forty days I
have made a personal vow to go deeper into myself and apply the teachings into
my everyday experiences. There have been moments where I have done beautifully,
transforming something painful into something wonderful just by just turning
off the switch—not allowing myself to get mad and as easily as releasing the pain that
attempted to get in … by replacing it with LOVE… with loving thoughts.
Reminding myself that LOVE always trumps fear.
For forty days I
have been feeding myself beautiful messages at the beginning of each day and
hoping that these words would carry me for the entire day—for the entire 40
Days. I have been surrounding myself with things that make me feel good and
avoiding those things that don’t feel good.
AVOIDING
Here’s a word to
meditate on Alicia! How have you been avoiding?
Avoiding implies that I can prevent bad things from happening, negativity from arriving,
pain from affecting me. For 40 days I have believed that if I just keep it
positive… the negative can’t touch me. For 40 days I have believed I can
somehow control everything. On the 40th day of my fast I have
learned the most important lesson. While I have many gifts… while I have many
tools… while I have a strong spiritual practice… while my faith and
relationship with Spirit is at its strongest… the most important lesson I have
learned is that I control NOTHING!
Yes! I have
gifts and tools that will certainly aid me in moving through moments and
experiences. However, moments and experiences cannot and must not be avoided because
this is where my greatest lesson and most important learning happens—through the people I meet and the
experiences I face.
What I learned
is that I can’t control any of it. What I have learned is that my journey
doesn’t end here at 40 days. I have only just begun. This is a way of life… its
constant movement towards that which makes me happy.
“I am never alone; I am all the many
people I meet and who have understood my soul through books. I am not a
stranger.” ~ Aleph
What I have
learned is that I am never alone. Through my writing I understand that there
are many people on this journey with me.
“I’ve made many men suffer, and I’ve
suffered greatly, too,” Hilal goes on. “The light of love flows out of my soul,
but it can go nowhere because it’s blocked by pain. I could inhale and exhale
every morning for the rest of my life, but that wouldn’t solve anything. I know
that you can heal me and that I can heal what you’re feeling.” ~ Aleph
I love the above
quote…
I take it one
step further… it’s more than just a conversation between two people. We can
heal each other. On my journey of discovery and spirituality my intention is
obvious… how can I be more loving… how can I be more perfect… how can I be more
me? By loving YOU!
On this journey
I have met you and for that I am so grateful!
“If you believe in the words you write,
allow the people around you to grow with you.” ~ Paulo Coelho
JOY
What I am
meditating on today is constant JOY.
How
do I carry joy?
How
do I allow for Joy to be my state of mind?
Understanding
that there is nothing I can avoid or control yet at the same time knowing that
nothing that happens around me can take my joy from me. Its remembering where
to turn to when things threaten to take my joy from me. I can remember to go
back to my center even when I am in a car full of people doing 75 on the Van
Wyck Expressway, when all I want to do is jump out onto the highway and roll
into the street trying to escape and hold onto my joy… I always have a choice…
I can remember that I AM PEACE! I can remember that I AM JOY!
Excerpt from Finding Your Force~
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
I wore a
mask for my daughter that we were ok. But we were one step away from homeless.
You were
the one wearing a mask this time. You pretended to not be scared. You really
believed that I was going to get us out of this one. This time even my
faith was shaken. I was worried. We
were almost going to be put out onto the street. We were two days away from
that experience. My poor decision-making landed us in that mess. Things needed
to change. I needed to get my shit in order. I understood that I was supposed
to feel all of that. I was
supposed go through all of it. That was my lesson to learned and after that
moment I have never been the same. I am so grateful that we were able to save
our apartment. I am so grateful to Kelly and my boss for lending us the money.
I am grateful that my prayers were answered.
Prayer:
Creador, thank you. Gracias a mis orishas, mis guías y protectores a mi
derecha, mis angeles de la guardia. Thank you. For a while I didn’t know if I’d
make it. I doubted that I would really get through it. So much was thrown at me
at the same time. There were moments I didn’t believe I could get up and you
creator, my force showed me the way. You showed me that I could. You showed me
that I would get up. That I would not crumble. My force showed me that I would
keep moving even with all the blows. I’ve been here before and will keep
moving. I am so grateful for all the strength… for all the hard lessons… for
all the pain… for all the love. I am grateful for your guidance and protection.
I know that there is nothing I can’t get through. I know that for certain now.
So I thank you. I am so full. I feel like life is changing for me. Thank you. ~
Finding Your Force A Journey to Love is available on Amazon~
“Every man’s experience is an attempt to
merge his own being with this eternal river, not to the loss of his identity,
but to the discovery of that self which has never wholly left its heaven. Like
an echo from some unknown shore there is a voice seeking to be heard.” ~ This
Thing Called You~
For 40 Days I
have been listening to my heart… thank you for taking this journey with me.
I AFFIRM
Today, I am being called to be peace.
Today, I am being called to know that I am
JOY.
Today, I am called to know that I control nothing.
Today, I trust that all that is meant for me will be mine.
Today, I will know that my healing is
your healing.
Today, I will know that Spirit is always
with me ~ for this knowing I am so grateful~
And so it is~
Aché
© Copyrighted
Alicia Anabel Santos 2012
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