This morning I
woke up thinking about a Spirit Sister who will be running the New York City
Marathon next weekend. The preparation and training required can be grueling. I
am imagining all that it must have taken her
to get to this moment.
Commitment
Perseverance
Endurance
Strength
Love
Faith
A belief in
Spirit and a deep belief her Self…
the kind of belief that knows that she will make it to finish line. And this
incredible sense of achievement that will come as she arrives.
Accomplishment!
Pure Joy
Elation
Ecstasy
Gratitude
A dream-come true
Personal legends fulfilled
Yemaya spoke to me through her in my dream… “Yemaya and me…” that’s what Yolanda said to me in the dream.
Always the writer…
I said to myself, “Wow! What a beautiful
title for the children’s book I will one day write, Yemaya and Me! And it will
be about this wonderful journey they will go on together and all the lessons
Yemaya will teach.”
“I surrender myself to the rain. There’s
more lightening, but my feeling of helplessness is being replaced by something
positive, as if my soul were gradually being washed clean by the water of
forgiveness.” Aleph, by Paulo Coelho
Yemaya, Mother, who
lives in the ocean… Yemaya is the vastness of the ocean…the calm before the storm… the
tsunami when we aren’t ready… she is strength, purity, beauty, power, LOVE,
protector of my daughter and our home. One of her daughter’s, Yolanda, has embarked on a
wonderful journey. Running a marathon is not a small thing… it is HUGE! She is
huge and Yemaya came to tell me that she would be running alongside her.
Excerpt
from Finding Your Force A Journey to Love:
He said,
I DARE you to use all you are
to attend to your work everyday
in a very specific manner
to set goals
to rise above the circle you are currently
living inside of
because there are greater things for you
My body
hurt, my neck was sore and my eyes were having trouble focusing. I don’t think
I’ve ever pushed myself this hard. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything so
badly. I needed to push myself beyond the limits I place on myself.
I was pushing myself until it hurts.
I pushed myself while on the brink of tears.
I couldn’t stop.
I wouldn’t stop
I needed
to push past my perception of what I can take and release those self-defeating
thoughts about whether I have what it takes. I know for myself that I do have
what it takes… I AM all that it takes!
What I
learned was that I could take so much more. I will push harder; move faster I
will surpass the exhaustion. It took every ounce of energy from my body, mind,
spirit and soul to get to the end. When you push yourself you truly see what
you are made of. The things I believed were unattainable are in the past. Those
thoughts no longer serve me. I wanted to thank him for pushing me. In those
final hours I could feel his spirit and energy all around me. I felt him next
to me. He was lifting me. He was rubbing my back. He was telling me that I
could do this. I wanted to remember that moment. I wanted to acknowledge the
fact that I was in so much pain and wanted to turn off everything—but I did
not. I kept moving. I pushed even harder. When I finished editing the last
monologue and arrived to the last lines of my first play I immediately wrote
him an email… MET MY DEADLINE, KEPT MY PROMISE… I WAS BORN~
“I can’t
do it!” is no longer in my vocabulary… it’s replaced by:
I CAN’T FAIL!
I WILL NOT FAIL!
I WILL DO IT!
I WOULD DIE FOR IT!
I WILL HAVE IT!
I CAN DO THIS!
I BELIEVE IN ME!
I WAS BORN TO DO THIS!
I BELIEVE IN MY ABILITY!
“I’m
tired!” is replaced with:
FINISH IT!
There is NO time to be tired!
MEET your deadlines!
DO what you set out to do!
Do what you say you’re going to do!
“I am
exhausted!” turns into:
I still have a little bit more…
SO KEEP PUSHING!
What about
the housework, the errands, the dishes that have been in the sink for two days
after working 12-hour days? All excuses I’ve made to stop my momentum and
procrastinate. Just FINISH IT… Finish what I set out to do. Finish what I
start. The dishes will still be there tomorrow. The only thing we need to
practice is perseverance, tenacity, determination, never quitting, working
harder, commitment, effort, motivation, drive, achievement, goal setting, have
a team, constant movement, work, endure, attitude, inspire, courage, ambition
and challenge. FAITH, LOVE and GRATITUDE!!!
It takes
great courage to wake up everyday and go after what you want. It takes
endurance to be able to take whatever comes your way and still have the
strength to move forward even when you’re kicked down. Know that anything worth
having requires hard work and many moments of working hard for what you want! I
have been non-stop and I am not stopping. I am pushing myself harder than I
ever have and this pain feels good. An incredible amount of commitment is
necessary. Without it we’re just fooling ourselves. We have to believe we can
achieve a certain goal. It took everything that I was made of and all that I
didn’t know I had. That moment was pure exhilaration. I finished it. I got to
the end of it. I needed to
remember why I do this. Why it is I want this. I needed to call up everything
from my arsenal of truth. What made me want to write? Why I MUST write?
You made
me write. You made me a great writer. The first time I even thought about
writing something it was for you. This journey has always been about giving you
a gift. It’s about leaving you with something to repay you for everything
you’ve given me. I wanted my words to be with you always. I write because I
can’t imagine myself not writing. Writing is my voice. I don’t need to search
for it because it is already here. ~ Finding Your Force is available on Amazon~
Then I got up,
got dressed and decided that it was time for me to step back into the world.
After having a wonderful weekend with family, it was time to be with my
Spiritual family. I arrived to Expansion Church late, they were just concluding
the silent meditation and when I walked in Greg Stamper was leading the choir
in the next song… when he started singing something happened, when “The Light”
started singing the transformation was immediate… I felt the words in every
cell of my body… “Lord, I’m amazed by
you… how great is your love for me… how wide… how deep… how great… is your love
for me!”
This beautiful
love song in gratitude to Spirit for the GREATEST LOVE I’ve ever known.
Then our
Minister, Rodney McKenzie said, “Accept
how loved we are… we don’t have to give or do to be loved… we already are.”
I am already
loved… my search is over.
“Bring your hopes and aspirations to the
Divine Center within you, lay them on the altar of your faith in complete
confidence.” This Thing Called You
“Yes, it’s difficult to talk to your
heart, and perhaps it isn’t even necessary. We simply have to trust and follow
the signs and live our Personal Legend; sooner or later, we will realize that
we are all part of something, even if we can’t understand rationally what that
something is. They say that the second before our death, each of us understands
the real reason for our existence, and out of that moment, Heaven or Hell is
born. Hell is when we look back during that fraction of a second and know that
we wasted an opportunity to dignify the miracle of life. Paradise is being able
to say at that moment: “I made some mistakes, but I wasn’t a coward. I lived my
life and did what I had to do.” ~ Aleph
Yolanda is running in honor of her grandmothers and I am donating in honor of my grandmother who lost her battle with cancer... Congratulations my beloved Yolanda!
Please visit: Yolanda Batts' fundraising page ~
I AFFIRM
Today, I will know that every moment in
my life I am doing what I need to do.
Today, I will know that when I am lost,
confused or scared I know where to turn.
Today, I will know that I will make it to
the finish line… every time.
Today, I will know for you that all that
Spirit is preparing for me, Spirit is preparing for you.
Today, I know that you and I are one…
your win is my win! My win is your win!
Today, I honor you Yolanda, I honor the
God in YOU! I AM cheering you on!
And so it is~
Ache
© Copyrighted Alicia Anabel Santos 2012
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