Day 23: 40 Days~
After spending a few hours today watching a marathon of the Gilmore Girls (a show that totally reminds me of my daughter) I decided to not waste anymore time and step to the page.
I began my day as I always do with my meditative practice and as I sat in stillness I asked Spirit: What would you have me know today?
The word that kept rising for me was TIME.
Followed by the sentence: STOP WASTING TIME!
This was a direct order. There was an image that kept coming up for me in meditation that made me smile—it was the moments around how I came to write my memoir. What rose for me was the moment that led to me completing my memoir. I was reminding myself of the final days of completion. Once I had read everything I had ever written it was time to begin. I thought about how I organized and prepared for writing this story. I meditated on how I decided the best way it was for me to write the story, one moment at a time, one memory at a time, one year at a time, one scene at a time, and one chapter at a time. How in the end I had 40+ individual documents for all 40 chapters. I sat with the task of writing one chapter of my life… one day at a time.
Sometimes as writers we can get overwhelmed and not know where to begin – we spend so much time… wasting time… instead of writing we get fixated on researching or reading other writers work. We might get lost in organizing and planning… and while all of this is necessary and part of the writer’s process—it can be all consuming… time consuming! If we are not careful we can use this process as a form of procrastination keeping us from the real task of actually writing!
There has to come a point when we get up and sit in front of the page to write. We don’t have a moment to waste. This is what I am meditating on. How writing for me is really a matter of life and death and that I mustn’t waste any time. This is how we should step to the task of those things that are most important to us. Writing for me is not some easy, frivolous, carefree, or irresponsible task – it’s coming at it with everything I have. It’s getting the writing done one story at a time. This is what I am meditating on today. How I forced myself to not waste anymore time and write my memoir. This is how I live my life now understanding and recognizing how precious time is and for this knowing I am so grateful.
My favorite quotes during meditation from This Thing Called You, by Ernest Holmes:
“Spirit holds nothing from you. To believe that God refuses the good you desire is to deny the goodness of God. It is a refusal to accept the profound conclusion of the one who said, “It is done unto you as you believe.”
“This is the story of your life, and of every man’s life. Just keep right on knocking at the doorway of your consciousness until every “no” becomes a “yes” every negation an affirmation, every fear a faith.”
“If you listen to peace you will experience it. If you listen for truth you will hear it. If you listen to power you will receive it. If you listen to wholeness you will discover it.”
Wherever I go the way is always prepared for me, made perfect, immediate, direct, and easy and the right people always show up.
Every opportunity is here for my wholeness and my greatest good.
Every door is open to me.
All that comes from me is loving, truth, kind, joy-filled and gentle.
All that comes to me is loving, truth, kind, joy-filled and gentle.
And so it is~
Excerpt from Finding Your Force A Journey to Love~
I recently finished reading, The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho for like the 4th time. Each time I’ve picked it up I’ve been in a new place in my life and something in my life always draws me back to this book. So when I picked up the book this time it was a way for me to check in with myself. To remind myself of what I needed at this point to go forward on this journey. It helps me confirm that I AM on my journey or pushes me in the right direction if I seem to fall off. On two different occasions I have been in romantic relationships while reading The Alchemist. It seems like when things are going great in my life, when I’m making progress, while I’m moving forward, I tend to attract things that seem wonderful. While these things seem amazing on the outside they also have served to move me away from my journey—away from my Personal Legend.
I had to ask myself, how do I continue on my journey towards my personal legend while building a relationship? How do I NOT allow for distractions to take me off track? How do I NOT allow for things to enter my life and move me away from my journey? How does my journey get altered? And is it always for the better? What is my role in it? What do I need to understand here? What is my lesson? What I know for certain is that every person that I meet on this journey I am meant to meet. Everything that I experience on this journey I am meant to experience (good and bad -- especially the bad). Sometimes while on this journey there are people you have to let go of in order to move forward.
The journey teaches us how to turn our dreams into reality. Reminding us that there are many tools we must pick up along the way. Tools that we learn from others, learn in school, pick up from elders, read in books, hear in songs and get from TV. The most important tool I think any of us can pick up on the journey is PATIENCE. Patience is very necessary on the journey. Somehow we forget this or fail to practice patience. We walk with this sense of urgency and frustration that what we want hasn’t arrived. This lack of patience, lack of faith because we want things in the immediate, we want it now looking for fast results in the present.
While I was walking aimlessly lost in the city I started to think about the people I have met on my journey. Those who are in my inner circle and just associations I have made along the way. People can get real comfortable with the US they’re used to. People aren’t always ready for that change in us. They will not always be welcoming and supportive. They will want the old Alicia - straight Alicia. They accepted that Alicia. The new Alicia makes them uncomfortable. When you’re doing that inner work and start to change the people around you sometimes will no longer fit who you’re becoming. They will want the old you because it’s safe for them. It’s safe because they don’t have to look at themselves.
When you’re on that journey of finding your own personal legend it might feel lonely. People who are not living their dreams won’t know how to support you in reaching yours. There are people who will try to convince you that it is impossible to realize your personal legend. HOW DARE WE GO IN SEARCH OF OUR PERSONAL LEGEND? There have been countless people who have told me that my writing is silly and not a real job. They will want to fill us with self-doubt projecting their own fears of achieving or reaching their own potential. And in the face of all those who doubt you – you MUST continue to prepare your spirit and your will to carry on. It takes a lot to continue on the journey. You must honor what you’ve been called to do… but first you must figure out what that is.
"And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." The Alchemist
~ from Finding Your Force A Journey to Love available on Amazon ~
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